What your favorite 90s Christian rock artist tells you about who you are today
with thanks to Phil Snider
First of all, thank you to all who commented on last week’s post, Searching for Unicorns. If you didn’t have a chance to read it, it’s worth taking a look just for the comments. More than 130 of you shared your stories (and many more did so privately, by email). What I found most heartening was the thoughtfulness with which so many have engaged our political moment, even as they find themselves in different places on the political spectrum. I was also heartened by the respectful dialogue in the comments, and realized how rare these spaces are, where people can share views honestly and be engaged respectfully, even across difference. It was such a refreshing contrast to social media spaces, I thought I’d try opening up comments for a while on all my posts, or at least most of them, and see where things lead.
Today’s post is a change of pace. The other day, I came across a Facebook post from pastor and public theologian Phil Snider and I couldn’t stop laughing. With Phil’s permission, I’m sharing it with you to brighten your Monday morning. (I’m currently writing my chapter on CCM for my next book, so I’ve been listening to a lot of Amy Grant and Sandi Patty lately.)
There will probably be some heavier posts coming in the days/weeks ahead, but this one is just for fun. And, with open comments, feel free to add your own to the mix!
What your favorite 90s Christian rock artist tells you about who you are today:
Caedmon’s Call: You lead your church’s deconstruction small group
Jars of Clay: You’re single-handedly keeping Patagonia in business
Vigilantes of Love: You’re a university professor
Petra: You’ve planted 36 churches and are still waiting for one to take off
DC Talk: You’ve attended at least one Stronger Men’s Conference
Rich Mullins: You follow Shane Claiborne all around in the summer and run your community’s cold weather shelter in the winter
Poor Old Lu: You bought all the Harry Potter books for your kids
Sixpence None the Richer: You buy all your decor from Magnolia Farms
Newsboys: You lead your local QAnon chapter
The 77s: You’re an anti-establishment libertarian
Amy Grant: You’re leading a Jesus and John Wayne book club
Michael W. Smith: You realized your friends are friends forever only if you don’t change your beliefs
Michael Knott: You’re an atheist
Daniel Amos: You’re in jail for the January 6 insurrection
Starflyer 59: You got bored and read Nietzsche now
Steven Curtis Chapman: You’re still feeling that call to campus ministry
Jennifer Knapp: You’re a social justice warrior in all the best ways
Phil Keaggy: You’re playing weekend gigs at local coffee shops
Third Day: You’re a youth pastor
OC Supertones: You’re really into CrossFit
Dakoda Motor Company: You’re a suburban soccer mom
Skillet: You despise woke culture and long for the days of blessed cultural appropriation
Big Tent Revival: You figured out how to be an evangelical Christian without being a total jerk
U2: You talked your church into divesting from arms manufacturers (you also still listen to U2)
Michael Card: You teach English and Vocal Composition at a Christian High School
Carman: You’re a missionary
Plankeye: You’re a mega church pastor on the west coast
The Choir: You somehow remained hip after all these years (you also had a hip replaced)
Saviour Machine: You still haven’t covered up those Greek and Hebrew tattoos
Five Iron Frenzy: You like liturgy, craft beer and mini golf
Keith Green: You’re still waiting for the church to get its shit together
——
It’s been brought to our attention that we left too many favorite artists off the original list. While we can’t include everybody, here are a few more:
MxPx: You’re still a badass
Adam Again: You were smoking weed way before it was legal
The Violet Burning: You did your dissertation on Derrida
Pedro the Lion: You still contemplate a monastic lifestyle but can’t bring yourself to give up Netflix
Project 86: You secretly regret never having raged against the machine
Stavesacre: You can’t quite decide if Nadia Bolz Weber or Peter Rollins best speaks to your deep existential angst
Point of Grace: You’re a true MLM pro
POD: You wasted most of your thirties watching Pawn Stars
Over the Rhine: You run your local indie record store
Tourniquet: You watch all of Jake Paul’s fights
Switchfoot: You regularly say “not all men” when interrupting a woman who is speaking
Audio Adrenaline: You think that not enough white guys have a podcast
Relient K: You’re a Swiftie
Dime Store Prophets: You live in a gentrified neighborhood, but it’s okay because you hate yourself for doing so
Waterdeep: You still own the djembe you bought back in Bible college when your dream was to join the alt-worship team at Willow Creek
Stryper: You haven’t missed an episode of Homebrewed Christianity for twelve years
Steve Taylor: You still have your soul
For the record, I’m U2, Jars of Clay, Michael Card, Petra, Amy Grant, and Rich Mullins. My aunt bought me Point of Grace for my birthday, but it never took.
Thanks to Phil for his brilliance and for being happy to share. And let me add that if you liked this list, you’ll love Phil’s writing.
And, if you have other artists to add, post away in the comments…
Rebecca St James: Your therapist has heard all about purity culture
OMG, that Michael W Smith one hit close to home.