You being you... and none of us care about 'the hair' as much as you did. So deeply thankful for your voice in the chaos of our nation. (I get tears just typing this... because people like you, & you're at the top, have kept my belief in a possibe living God alive) AND the film is fantastic... and sad.
I will look forward to seeing the film this weekend in Nashville. But as a lifelong Methodist/United Methodist—I was 11 years old when the UMC was formed through a merger with the Evangelical United Brethren, and my minister dad actually took me to the 1968 ceremony at General Conference in Dallas where the union was ratified—I'm not quite sure how to feel about a call for unity right now.
I'm a heterosexual male, and my wife and I have been married for 43 years. But by the time I started college, I had concluded that homosexuality was inborn and, therefore, could not, in and of itself, be a sin in the eyes of a Creator who made some people that way. I also observed the misery with which closeted LGBTQ people, including one of my cousins, were forced to live because they could not publicly claim, much less celebrate, their true identity. Surely, I thought, a loving God did not intend for people to suffer because they were born with a certain orientation. Surely, monogamous same-sex relationships "do no wrong to a neighbor," which was Paul's formula for the fulfillment of the Law.
But for years I was willing, for the sake of maintaining unity, to go along with the often painful compromise that the UMC had made: LGBTQ people were welcome, but LGBTQ pastors were not, and same-sex marriages could not be performed by a UMC pastor or in a UM church.
Nevertheless, even though the recent UMC General Conferences were willing to embrace compromises that allowed congregations or jurisdictions to maintain prohibitions against same-sex pastors and marriages, thousands of congregations walked away — not in protest to changes enacted but over the mere prospect of change.
I think a lot of urban United Methodist pastors will tell you, as mine told me, that the split is not even primarily about sexuality. Just as much if not more, it's about a rural-urban divide and a general feeling among the leavers that "blue" cities are full of liberals who oppose the Christian Nationalism that is the dominant religion in the small towns and rural communities where I grew up.
I was willing to remain at the table with these people. I did not walk away. They did.
When I returned home to Texas last year for my mother's funeral, it was jarring and sad to walk into my parents' old church—a place I had worshipped many times—and realize that we were no longer part of the same denomination. The hymns we sang were no longer from the United Methodist Hymnal. Ninety-five percent of that congregation had voted to leave. It drove home the message to me that I was welcome there only so long as I remained "closeted" about my views—not just on human sexuality but on issues such as the Jewishness of Jesus or my belief that Christian Nationalism is diametrically opposed to the Christianity of the Gospels and Paul. They regard my views as heretical, so in their presence, I kept those views in the closet and focused on what we had in common.
But now that they have broken fellowship, I'm not enthused about preaching unity to people who walked away. Maybe they're the ones who should be reaching out to people like me. I feel like I was part of an abusive relationship, spiritually, and I'm not eager to move back in with people who think I'm going to hell.
I realized this, aka Jesus & John Wayne, yesterday when a family member told me that I would need to answer to God for accepting queer people & allowing for women to control their own bodies.
I kept asking the person to stop, but they would not… I now realize how unsafe much of American Christianity really is, but today I am still reeling, pained, & exhausted. I doubt this is what Jesus meant when he said this prayer.
Thank you for your sharing. It is healthy to know that I am not alone. May God bless you & keep you.
I pray that your pain is eased. I, too, believe that you will have to answer to God for welcoming queer people. And when you do, I believe God will say, "Well, done, faithful servant. Your love and mercy showed the world a glimpse of my kingdom."
I am strengthened by the realization that the heart of the Law is not judgment or punishment. The heart of the Law is mercy.
Like you, I am glad to know I'm not alone in thinking this way. For a long time I thought I was, or nearly so. It is so easy for Christians of my generation to live in a bubble. If you tell them that many young people today perceive Christianity as a religion of hate, they are not only shocked but unable to imagine how anyone could even perceive it like that. They attend their perfectly nice churches and do perfectly nice service projects, and they miss the way so many people are abused and even hated by the loudest voices in the room of American Christianity. I think it's long past time for "mainstream" Christians to stop tut-tutting and to stop regarding White Christian Nationalists as Christians. It's time to stop singing Kum-Bi-Yah and start preaching from Jeremiah. Yes, there IS a war on Christianity in this country, and it's being waged by Christian Nationalists. If they win, the church in America will go the way of the Catholic establishment in Ireland, whose un-Christian abuses of power turned the most Catholic nation in Europe into a secular country in a single generation.
Honestly, the more I think about it I’m actually not at all willing to be in relationship with anti-gay people. My grandmother was the last person I was willing to do that with, and she died three years ago. Everyone else needs to either get on board or they won’t be in my life in any meaningful way.
I'm in a similar position, I guess. For years, the United Methodist Church tried to keep everyone at the table. I think the leadership hoped that the churches opposed to LGBTQ pastors and same-sex marriages would eventually come around or at least be tolerant of congregations with different views. No bishop was going to appoint an openly gay pastor (in the few conferences where there actually were openly gay pastors) to a congregation that didn't welcome that, and nobody was going to force them to perform same-sex marriages. Rather, these congregations decided they wanted nothing to do with a denomination where OTHERS were free to perform same-sex marriages. And they left.
From where I sit, that means the initial responsibility is on them to pursue reconciliation. And from conversations I've had with such people, that ain't going to happen.
I regret that there was a split in my denomination, but given the position of the leavers, I think it was both unavoidable and necessary. In the late 1840s, the Methodists split over slavery. Should Northern Methodists have been expected to compromise the Gospel for the sake of unity with enslavers? Some issues are worth splitting over, and this is one of them. It took another 100 years, but the Northern and Southern Methodists eventually reunited in the late 1940s. I think, or at least hope, that eventually the anti-LGBTQ churches will realize they were on the wrong side of the Gospel and the wrong side of history. But for now, I'm not up for staying at the table with one set of Christians who insist on inflicting injury on another group that has been excluded.
I’m in a similar situation in my denomination. I totally get this. I’d love for you to watch the film and see what you think about it. Because this is exactly the issue confronted, and there’s no pat answer. But it done how changed things.
"Rather than a “Gospel Coalition” that excludes huge swaths of the church based on patriarchal preference, what Christians could use today is a “John 17 Coalition”—a commitment to striving for unity across difference."
Yes!!! And not surprisingly, the "I'm tired of peopling, where's my ballcap?" version of you still manages to out-theologize the angry gate-keepers. Thanks for sharing!
We couldn't agree more! Right now we are leading a coalition of Christians around the country in a Unity Campaign based on John 17. We would love for you to check it out! https://www.ideosinstitute.org/31-days-of-unity
I just finished watching "For Our Daughters." I am so angry! And heart-broken. And energized. I want to do something, to be part of this movement for justice and healing. Thank you for your amazing work!
My morning prayer time follows the Lectio 365 APP. Today’s scripture was this very one on Jesus praying for us and the call for Unity. Unity is the purpose of the church, sadly we have strayed far from seeking that out. I have been focusing today on how I can practice unity in my own life. Thanks for sharing about this film.
This looks intriguing! I will aim to catch it when it is screening in NYC. Thanks for letting us know about it. I'm going to share the trailer with other CPE supervisors, as we are often working across theological divides in chaplaincy training groups, which can be deeply challenging but also rewarding.
I hope I'll find access to the film soon. The call to unity is so necessary. The unity of Christ is not a goal to strive after but an ontological gospel reality. It's also our best witness to a watching world - and the sober warning is in our divisiveness the church will witness to something, but it won’t be the gospel.
A prayer that haunts me was noted by Phyllis Tickle: "Help each one of us, gracious Father, to live in such magnanimity and restraint that the Head of the Church may never have cause to say to any one of us, ‘This is my body, broken by you.’”
Thank you for taking the time, tired and all, to write this for us. I wish all Red Carpets could be "come as you are" real! I will try to bring this to our local FilmScene in Iowa City. I will promise to advertise ti to the list of 58 local churches and my groups, Act Justly and Interfaith Alliance Exposing Christian Nationalism.
Such a moving review of a deeply moving movie. Thank you for the generosity of what you write here! It was good to see the film in your company. The film just wrecked me, especially in the way it moves along a line of possibility and impossibility and for how it, at the same time, depicts new creational moments so gorgeously. (And props on your own film! My spouse is joining some friends for the showing of your film tomorrow at Still Processing, while I'm attending a different film festival at Calvin.)
I am sure the film is as wonderful as you describe. I am sure it points us in a direction of generally peaceful solidarity, one with the other despite our differences. One caveat: As an openly gay man I am truly quite tired of my sexuality’s legitimacy being debated. In fact, I am sick to death of heterosexual people leading this never ending parade- Or ignoring us altogether which happens so frequently, at least in the Episcopal Church of which I am a priest.
My wife and I saw "Leap of Faith" tonight. We had a private screening, as we were the only people in the theatre.
I am glad we went. The film was extremely well-made, as I anticipated. Thought-provoking. Hopeful. But I also left with some mixed feelings—as, I think, did many of the pastors who took part in the group.
Hopeful, because I think I could find 12 Christians in my city across religious affiliations and beliefs with whom I could have such conversations. But mixed feelings because I believe they are a minority. There are many with whom I see no real possibility of dialogue, and who have been treating me as the infidel for 30 years because I believe differently from them. This is so much the case, in fact, that I'm much more surprised to find others who believe as I do, though I know they're out there, than to encounter those who would never want me as part of their communion.
What I think I would say if I were in such a diverse group: I will walk alongside any of you. But I would also expect you who profess homosexuality to be a sin to walk alongside the LGBTQ believers who I'm walking with. And if you force me to choose between you and them, I will choose to walk with them, because they have been wrongly injured and because they need someone to affirm and walk with them way more than you do.
You being you... and none of us care about 'the hair' as much as you did. So deeply thankful for your voice in the chaos of our nation. (I get tears just typing this... because people like you, & you're at the top, have kept my belief in a possibe living God alive) AND the film is fantastic... and sad.
It was just so funny when I turned the corner and realized “oh, this is what this is.” 😂
At least you weren't over dressed - or dressed for a costume party. You look so happy! And your smile is what gets my attention.
AMEN!!!
I will look forward to seeing the film this weekend in Nashville. But as a lifelong Methodist/United Methodist—I was 11 years old when the UMC was formed through a merger with the Evangelical United Brethren, and my minister dad actually took me to the 1968 ceremony at General Conference in Dallas where the union was ratified—I'm not quite sure how to feel about a call for unity right now.
I'm a heterosexual male, and my wife and I have been married for 43 years. But by the time I started college, I had concluded that homosexuality was inborn and, therefore, could not, in and of itself, be a sin in the eyes of a Creator who made some people that way. I also observed the misery with which closeted LGBTQ people, including one of my cousins, were forced to live because they could not publicly claim, much less celebrate, their true identity. Surely, I thought, a loving God did not intend for people to suffer because they were born with a certain orientation. Surely, monogamous same-sex relationships "do no wrong to a neighbor," which was Paul's formula for the fulfillment of the Law.
But for years I was willing, for the sake of maintaining unity, to go along with the often painful compromise that the UMC had made: LGBTQ people were welcome, but LGBTQ pastors were not, and same-sex marriages could not be performed by a UMC pastor or in a UM church.
Nevertheless, even though the recent UMC General Conferences were willing to embrace compromises that allowed congregations or jurisdictions to maintain prohibitions against same-sex pastors and marriages, thousands of congregations walked away — not in protest to changes enacted but over the mere prospect of change.
I think a lot of urban United Methodist pastors will tell you, as mine told me, that the split is not even primarily about sexuality. Just as much if not more, it's about a rural-urban divide and a general feeling among the leavers that "blue" cities are full of liberals who oppose the Christian Nationalism that is the dominant religion in the small towns and rural communities where I grew up.
I was willing to remain at the table with these people. I did not walk away. They did.
When I returned home to Texas last year for my mother's funeral, it was jarring and sad to walk into my parents' old church—a place I had worshipped many times—and realize that we were no longer part of the same denomination. The hymns we sang were no longer from the United Methodist Hymnal. Ninety-five percent of that congregation had voted to leave. It drove home the message to me that I was welcome there only so long as I remained "closeted" about my views—not just on human sexuality but on issues such as the Jewishness of Jesus or my belief that Christian Nationalism is diametrically opposed to the Christianity of the Gospels and Paul. They regard my views as heretical, so in their presence, I kept those views in the closet and focused on what we had in common.
But now that they have broken fellowship, I'm not enthused about preaching unity to people who walked away. Maybe they're the ones who should be reaching out to people like me. I feel like I was part of an abusive relationship, spiritually, and I'm not eager to move back in with people who think I'm going to hell.
I realized this, aka Jesus & John Wayne, yesterday when a family member told me that I would need to answer to God for accepting queer people & allowing for women to control their own bodies.
I kept asking the person to stop, but they would not… I now realize how unsafe much of American Christianity really is, but today I am still reeling, pained, & exhausted. I doubt this is what Jesus meant when he said this prayer.
Thank you for your sharing. It is healthy to know that I am not alone. May God bless you & keep you.
I pray that your pain is eased. I, too, believe that you will have to answer to God for welcoming queer people. And when you do, I believe God will say, "Well, done, faithful servant. Your love and mercy showed the world a glimpse of my kingdom."
I am strengthened by the realization that the heart of the Law is not judgment or punishment. The heart of the Law is mercy.
Like you, I am glad to know I'm not alone in thinking this way. For a long time I thought I was, or nearly so. It is so easy for Christians of my generation to live in a bubble. If you tell them that many young people today perceive Christianity as a religion of hate, they are not only shocked but unable to imagine how anyone could even perceive it like that. They attend their perfectly nice churches and do perfectly nice service projects, and they miss the way so many people are abused and even hated by the loudest voices in the room of American Christianity. I think it's long past time for "mainstream" Christians to stop tut-tutting and to stop regarding White Christian Nationalists as Christians. It's time to stop singing Kum-Bi-Yah and start preaching from Jeremiah. Yes, there IS a war on Christianity in this country, and it's being waged by Christian Nationalists. If they win, the church in America will go the way of the Catholic establishment in Ireland, whose un-Christian abuses of power turned the most Catholic nation in Europe into a secular country in a single generation.
I feel this, dude.
Honestly, the more I think about it I’m actually not at all willing to be in relationship with anti-gay people. My grandmother was the last person I was willing to do that with, and she died three years ago. Everyone else needs to either get on board or they won’t be in my life in any meaningful way.
I'm in a similar position, I guess. For years, the United Methodist Church tried to keep everyone at the table. I think the leadership hoped that the churches opposed to LGBTQ pastors and same-sex marriages would eventually come around or at least be tolerant of congregations with different views. No bishop was going to appoint an openly gay pastor (in the few conferences where there actually were openly gay pastors) to a congregation that didn't welcome that, and nobody was going to force them to perform same-sex marriages. Rather, these congregations decided they wanted nothing to do with a denomination where OTHERS were free to perform same-sex marriages. And they left.
From where I sit, that means the initial responsibility is on them to pursue reconciliation. And from conversations I've had with such people, that ain't going to happen.
I regret that there was a split in my denomination, but given the position of the leavers, I think it was both unavoidable and necessary. In the late 1840s, the Methodists split over slavery. Should Northern Methodists have been expected to compromise the Gospel for the sake of unity with enslavers? Some issues are worth splitting over, and this is one of them. It took another 100 years, but the Northern and Southern Methodists eventually reunited in the late 1940s. I think, or at least hope, that eventually the anti-LGBTQ churches will realize they were on the wrong side of the Gospel and the wrong side of history. But for now, I'm not up for staying at the table with one set of Christians who insist on inflicting injury on another group that has been excluded.
I’m in a similar situation in my denomination. I totally get this. I’d love for you to watch the film and see what you think about it. Because this is exactly the issue confronted, and there’s no pat answer. But it done how changed things.
We are going to see it tonight. Thank you for writing about it. I would not have heard about it if not for you.
I really appreciate you, Randy.
"Rather than a “Gospel Coalition” that excludes huge swaths of the church based on patriarchal preference, what Christians could use today is a “John 17 Coalition”—a commitment to striving for unity across difference."
Yes!!! And not surprisingly, the "I'm tired of peopling, where's my ballcap?" version of you still manages to out-theologize the angry gate-keepers. Thanks for sharing!
We couldn't agree more! Right now we are leading a coalition of Christians around the country in a Unity Campaign based on John 17. We would love for you to check it out! https://www.ideosinstitute.org/31-days-of-unity
I just finished watching "For Our Daughters." I am so angry! And heart-broken. And energized. I want to do something, to be part of this movement for justice and healing. Thank you for your amazing work!
Thank you. Praying this can help galvanize action. The problem is bigger than the SBC and won’t be fixed by the SBC.
My morning prayer time follows the Lectio 365 APP. Today’s scripture was this very one on Jesus praying for us and the call for Unity. Unity is the purpose of the church, sadly we have strayed far from seeking that out. I have been focusing today on how I can practice unity in my own life. Thanks for sharing about this film.
This is a great film. We had Nicholas Ma and Michael Gulker on our podcast recently, talking about the film and what they learned. https://ideos.substack.com/p/in-conversation-with-nicholas-ma
Complete unity, grace, sacrifice, charity, empathy, humility, gentleness, peace... so much in that prayer. It is amazing.
Beautiful words here, Kristin. Thank you.
This looks intriguing! I will aim to catch it when it is screening in NYC. Thanks for letting us know about it. I'm going to share the trailer with other CPE supervisors, as we are often working across theological divides in chaplaincy training groups, which can be deeply challenging but also rewarding.
Also, I think you look great on a red carpet!
Thanks, Kristin. You convinced me that I should go. And I know Ben, so I will try to get to that screening.
I love this, Kristin. Thanks. We had John 17 read at our wedding. One of my favorites. 🙏🏻
I hope I'll find access to the film soon. The call to unity is so necessary. The unity of Christ is not a goal to strive after but an ontological gospel reality. It's also our best witness to a watching world - and the sober warning is in our divisiveness the church will witness to something, but it won’t be the gospel.
A prayer that haunts me was noted by Phyllis Tickle: "Help each one of us, gracious Father, to live in such magnanimity and restraint that the Head of the Church may never have cause to say to any one of us, ‘This is my body, broken by you.’”
Thank you for taking the time, tired and all, to write this for us. I wish all Red Carpets could be "come as you are" real! I will try to bring this to our local FilmScene in Iowa City. I will promise to advertise ti to the list of 58 local churches and my groups, Act Justly and Interfaith Alliance Exposing Christian Nationalism.
Such a moving review of a deeply moving movie. Thank you for the generosity of what you write here! It was good to see the film in your company. The film just wrecked me, especially in the way it moves along a line of possibility and impossibility and for how it, at the same time, depicts new creational moments so gorgeously. (And props on your own film! My spouse is joining some friends for the showing of your film tomorrow at Still Processing, while I'm attending a different film festival at Calvin.)
Thank you. It was good to see you there!
Thanks. To paraphrase: You are kind, you are smart, you are Christ-like, you are important (to many).
I am sure the film is as wonderful as you describe. I am sure it points us in a direction of generally peaceful solidarity, one with the other despite our differences. One caveat: As an openly gay man I am truly quite tired of my sexuality’s legitimacy being debated. In fact, I am sick to death of heterosexual people leading this never ending parade- Or ignoring us altogether which happens so frequently, at least in the Episcopal Church of which I am a priest.
Blessings
Carlton Kelley
My wife and I saw "Leap of Faith" tonight. We had a private screening, as we were the only people in the theatre.
I am glad we went. The film was extremely well-made, as I anticipated. Thought-provoking. Hopeful. But I also left with some mixed feelings—as, I think, did many of the pastors who took part in the group.
Hopeful, because I think I could find 12 Christians in my city across religious affiliations and beliefs with whom I could have such conversations. But mixed feelings because I believe they are a minority. There are many with whom I see no real possibility of dialogue, and who have been treating me as the infidel for 30 years because I believe differently from them. This is so much the case, in fact, that I'm much more surprised to find others who believe as I do, though I know they're out there, than to encounter those who would never want me as part of their communion.
What I think I would say if I were in such a diverse group: I will walk alongside any of you. But I would also expect you who profess homosexuality to be a sin to walk alongside the LGBTQ believers who I'm walking with. And if you force me to choose between you and them, I will choose to walk with them, because they have been wrongly injured and because they need someone to affirm and walk with them way more than you do.
How do I join the Randy fan club?